sundays mean:
the return of monday

monday means:
the return of everything i've come to resent

if you haven't noticed, i havent submitted much of anything in a long time. why? might you ask. well, it seems that i dont really get a chance to feel inspired while I am at school. school drains me of everything that made life beautiful before. i thought i wanted this, but somehow i've come to resent the very passion that brought me to study at this university. and a one week reprieve of so-called spring break is bearly enough to strike a spark of anything. I'm not sure how I came to this being that I loved music so much and all, but i'm all tapped out from it- there is no more art stirring in me because the mundane has sapped it from me. the stress that i tried hard not to let get to me has drunk me dry it seems. and i only realize this by noticing how very little i have written in the last few months. why is this the measuring stick of my life? you might ask. well, it is because the poetry has always been a part of me on one level or another and when life has gotten particularly rough (I don't mean my emotions), the stress usually has a way of using up all resources within me and therefore leaving me with nothing to write about except how stressed out I am. and how boring of a poem would that be? very. so If you ever want to know if life is feeling particularly difficult for me, just check out my submissions (note: the lack of submissions is not an absolute indication of my writings- there are pieces that i write that will never see this website), it is a general indication, though not a specific measurement. of course, if you care and you've noticed and you want to know, there is always asking me. though, as i said above, i didn't realize how bad this actually was getting to me until i realized how little i've been inspired.

anyway, back to hating sunday nights and mondays and all that they stand for! sunday nights mean the end of something wonderful and i dont just mean the weekend (though that in itself is a wonderful thing). this wonderful thing is magnified by the fact that i get to spend them with someone important to me. when he's with me everything that's miserable is gone. anything that was bothering me is no longer an issue. but sunday nights means that someone has to leave or i have to leave that someone. (most of you know of whom i speak). and then i have to go back to the world where i get to be miserable and lots of shit is bothering me. I could go on and on about this, but you all get the point i think. so whats the solution? theres always the option of quitting school cause it makes me miserable but then i'd hate myself at some point later when i realize what a mistake it was in the end when im halfway done. so now im asking you, my friends, anyone who's reading this, what is there to do when what used to make me so happy- music- is making me so goddamn miserable now (prolly because i study it day in day out) and the only thing that does make me happy is someone whom i cant choose to be with day in day out instead?

i guess i just suck it up?